Strange methods of weight loss

Step one:  abdominal surgery, outpatient basis
Step two:  near-panic because I have the urge to urinate and NOTHING IS HAPPENING.  (The near-panic part is probably due to being stoned on the remnants of the anaesthetic.)
Step three:  move back and forth between bathroom and bed every threeish minutes.
Step four:  finally relax enough to let the bladder unclench
Step five:  pass water, essentially, at least once an hour regardless of how recently painkiller has been taken.  Occasionally remember to chug some Gatorade.
Step six:  body shape actually changes!

To wit, for the first time in over a year, my breasts stick further out than my belly.  No idea if the other fat collection centers have also seen changes, as I'm still a little sore and drugged to try viewing my silhouette in a mirror.

Also, I'm pretty sure I more-than-flashed a friend who came by to supervise me (and keep the cats out of the way) while Dearly Beloved went to the pharmacy.  I owe apologies.  Probably giving the apologies in the form of Ohio Buckeyes (no-bake peanut butter cookies) would not be appropriate in this specific instance, given the coloration of the cookies.  Anybody got a good recipe for Brain Bleach?

(That's probably a good definition of friendship, actually:  a friend will keep your cats out of your sanitized bedroom.  A REAL friend will steer your mostly-naked person back into bed despite visual TMI!)

Once I can finally get down the stairs, I need to break out the Wii Balance Board and find out how much weight I've lost.